"Here I stand Empty hands Wishing my wrists were bleeding To stop the pain from the beatings"

Just realized that liking a guy who's a year younger is so UNREAL. It wasn't much, truly. It wasn't even much of a crush. It was just an admire, I mean, I could swear I never liked or died for him, like other girls did(could be rumors). At first, I thought, maybe this could actually work out. Something totally clicked for a moment there. At least that's what I thought. Had stayed up till 2a.m. last night, crying all the time. It wasn't him that bothered me. It was the thought that I fell for a younger guy. WHY OH WHY?! The inner voices inside my head keep saying, it's a sign from God saying, "he's not the One" . Then I thought to myself. Why in the world am I crying?! It's just a silly mistake I made, & it's not the end of the world. There's still time to search for the One in the future, like what mom said, 'God knows, you might find someone way better than the ones you've ever seen in your life so far'. Well, the future is soon to come. I'm hoping to find someone, like what every girl wants ; someone who cares for you, who isn't a total flirt, who likes you for who you are, who's really sweet & charming.. etc. For now, the things that are most important to me are my family & most of all, my friends. I could swear I couldn't live without em'. 

    Kells & Wendy, thanks for being there for me.

I don't want to live To waste another day Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside I don't want to fall and say I lost it all Cause baby there's a part of me to hit the wall Leaving pieces of me behind And I feel like I'm breaking inside -Shinedown

I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up take me down Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down Let the rain come down - Blue October, Into The Ocean

I want to scream until no sound comes out and you've learned your lesson I want to swallow these pills to get to sleep So I don't have to make a bad impression I need to start to be myself Because I'm sick of everybody else - Boys like Girls

And last but not least.

You're just another picture to burn.